Tai Kwon Leap
Drawing Moustaches on Famous Paintings
The tallest of the Ship of Fools, Paul mastered the “Boot to the Head” maneuver at age five. After the formation of the Ship, he vowed to use his powers to thwart evil at every turn. But in a freak compiler accident at the age of 0x0e, Paul was digitally pulled through a three-pass optimizer, turning him into a super-efficient killing machine. With his left arm upgraded to a plasma cannon and now able to leap several kilometers in a single bound, CannonPaul weaseled out of the whole “powers to thwart evil” vow by claiming that the agreement doesn’t carry over after a name change.
Paul “CMG” Kuliniewicz